Learning to deal with it – Carol’s story

I have known about and with the doctors advice having a yearly check on a cyst on my ovary, each year it gets a little bigger but no concern still …… Then in July 2016 I was called into hospital within a week to be told that the cyst is believed to have turned ‘bad’ and would need surgery to have it removed straight away along with a full hysterectomy and then introduced to a Macmillan Nurse ….. To say I was scared would be wrong, I was numb and looking back now I believed I was in complete denial of what was happening.

I was sent for an MRI to get a better picture and CT Scan and due to they type of surgery required I would need to go to another hospital for the procedure as during surgery a frozen section was needed and if this indeed did indicate Cancer then the operation would suddenly change course and become even bigger than originally planned.

A month later I was admitted to hospital for the operation, which went extremely well and the outcome of the now Tumour was benign – the best news I could ever hope for
I had a total hysterectomy, removal of everything. Nothing could be left due to the chance of another cyst returning.

I came round very groggy and due to all the pain medication was quite comfortable. My hysterectomy was done through an incision straight up and down, I have approx a 10 inch scar running from my belly button straight down. I was in hospital for 6 days and then released with everything being a success.

The initial first few weeks were quite uncomfortable as I found it difficult to move about (despite being told not too!) but eventually recovered. And boy oh boy have I been thrown into the menopause! I had not come to terms with just how quickly this would happen and learning to deal with recovery and this at the same time is quite an issue!

It is only now that I seem to be having sudden realisation moments of what has actually happened, the sudden realisation that I had escaped a Cancer diagnosis and how extremely lucky I have been on one hand and then the realisation that although I have not been lucky enough to become a mother prior to this and thinking I had come to terms with it, I now have a scar that stares up at me each day telling me I absolutely never will.

I am now 11 weeks post surgery and sadly still not back at work due to another pre condition that I had that has flared back up caused by having to rest to recover from this ! but I am working on getting back to work as I can’t wait to do so and trying to find the courage to take up my GP’s advice, to take up counselling to deal with the turmoil my head is having around never being able to have children.

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