Angry so many questions, am I being punished? – Helen’s story

Hi. OK here it goes. Linda helped by taking time to send me a book, writing back emails etc. So I guess we need each other all of us. From a very early age I started my periods at 11 on my eve of 12th birthday. I was never told what it was, despite having 2 sisters and 3 brothers. I was the youngest coming from a Irish catholic background. My dad was strictest with me.

I suffered with mine. Really bad. I would go through pads in 10 mins up to 2 every 2 hours or so. I would bleed straight through to the skirt, on school seats; that’s how bad. I got pregnant at 15 years old. I fell for someone. Being Roman Catholic, attending church till the age of 12 abortion was a no. However my mum realised and before I knew it I was having one.

I didn’t understand. As a person who feels deeply, it hurts to this day. Mum said dad must never know. I hid this from my dad till the age of 25. He was upset, however began to mellow. I had during the time gone on the pill injection. Then a year later I came off. Few years had gone with no periods. So it turned out I had PCOS. Which turned into the disease endometriosis. It was also  when my reproductive gland stopped working.

Then at the age of 30 I started to bleed again, after settling down. You hear stories that people eventually conceive; no, I bled every day maybe with a week’s break. Then it got silly, I would cough or become stressed and bleed without warning. Often it would be down my legs when shopping.

I had vitamin injections from the Dr’s. I couldn’t go back on any pill as I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. By 32 I’d had one lump removed from my womb. It didn’t work so I tried the Mirena coil. That just was awful as I’m small anyway. My womb was also tilted and they often couldn’t find my cervix when examining me.

At 34 I had total abdominal hysterectomy. I was heartbroken. I realised how final it was; I will never hold a child or become a mother . However my testosterone (the small amount a woman produces) was 3 times a man’s.  Then the endocrine centre advised me maybe it’s time to do more bloods and reconsider removing my ovaries. That’s a dilemma. My surgeon left them in; she said my frame inside was so tiny that any hormone that I was producing would help my bones not develop osteoarthritis.

Well anyway, it turns out I need to have have spinal injections as, since my hysterectomy, I have a few slipped discs tear in lower lumbar and I’m on morphine patches and 8 co-codamol a day. I still don’t know if i’ll go through anther op. However, I would never advise anyone as everyone is different.

I would say this is a tough op on women mentally as well as physical. I personally am glad I was young, I don’t think I would have the strength to get my stomach muscles back into shape or be on my feet as quickly as I was. If I do have op it will be before I’m too much older as it’s hard for women to go through.

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